about 3 hours ago, AA stopped replying my texts. so then i asked why and he said that beng khai was rushed to the hospital. i had a really bad feeling about it. it was just this feeling that smtg rlly bad was gna happen or was happening. i was so damn tired from training and travelling to and for that i fell asleep. about 1am, AA called me. it woke me up. i was surprised to hear him crying. he said beng khai was gone. he was dead. i rlly didnt know how to react to that, plus with AA crying, i really didnt know what to say. i was literally speechless. after a while he hung up and my heartbeat increased. i didnt know what to do. its all so unreal. how could he pass away just like that? he was such a young aspiring bowler. he had so much potential. all that's wasted now. its all gone.
i still remember when i very first met you. it was 2006. milo junior all-stars. i bowling with you and i had no idea how to bowl professionally like you. i didnt even see whether all the pins dropped or not. and you got so frustrated because i had to keep calling the mechanic to set the pins again. i rmbr i hated you. hated you so much for that.
in 2007, i met you again. this time, in singapore sports school for the 1st ssp under 18. i was tgt w khai then and so many people were disturbing me abt him, abt you. i hated you, still. i still rmbred you showing me attitude and stuff in 2006. so i didnt talk to you, neither did you talk to me.
in 2009, haziq wanted a picture tgt. you too wanted a picture. from there, we talked. you slowly opened up. and you slowly told me you liked me. i was so repulsed by the whole thing. firstly, i thought you were mean. secondly, you weren't rlly that attractive to me. towards the end of the yr, you appeared much nicer to me. you joke ard w me, you text me when i'm in malaysia, you always promise to buy me drinks and presents. but you never did, but thats all right. because you always forgot.
last yr was the most memorable one of all. in milo, you won. so you had to treat me smtg. you asked for a christmas present. i gave you a card, with a drawing of a pig. you said you'd pass me my present in penang. i went to penang and we made a bet. if i won your series, you were to owe me a meal. any meal of my choice. i bowled a 716, you bowled a 63x. you still owe me that you bugger. i never got it. on the last night of penang pesta, you knocked on my door. you wanted to pass me a penguin, but you didnt because you dropped it on the way to the hotel back from the club. it was awkward between us because it was when you confessed everything to me. it was probably because you were drunk. and when ppl get drunk, they spill out sober thoughts. and thats what you did. you let everything out. the sad part was that i didnt exactly feel the same way as you did. and you left the room with a broken heart.
this year, i met you agn at malaysia open. again, you always sit behind my lane and watch me bowl. even if you were alone, you'd still sit there and watch me bowl. either that or you'd call someone else to sit on those blue seats at the grandstand with you. i always noticed it, i just didnt say anything. it was then did i start developing like, tiny crushes towards you. you didnt know it, i didnt show it. in singapore open, i met you again. i kept looking for you. always looking ard for you. most of the time, i didnt see you. heck with it, i didnt see you all the time. i had school and we bowled our MQs at different times of the day. i kept looking for you. but i didnt show it and neither will you ever know it.
two days ago, you talked to me on fb chat. i still have all the fb chat msgs you'd send me at random occasions. now whose gna go all "hey cantik!" and "hey baby" to me? no one. cause you're gone. and i just cant quite accept that fact. you owe me so many things, do you know that? you owe me an explanation too as to why you're always kidding ard w your feelings as well as mine. you owe me my meals. you owe me my presents. you owe me my card. i wish i could get my card back from you. you said you kept it in your underwear drawer. i want it back. at least i want something that has been with you for some time. i want it back. i want you back. i'd do anything to have you back.
please rest in peace, khoo beng khai. i'll always remember you. always.
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