tramp

I don't understand why you have to resort to such measures just to obtain information that does not have any relations to you whatsoever. you pretended to be interested in my affairs and you pretended to be sincere in all the advice you have given me. in the end, all you wanted to just stab me in the back and laugh about it with others.

you look so innocent, so pure. how can one whose appearance send out such positive energy possess such a black heart? you used to be someone I respected, someone whom I thought was always gna be there for their loved ones or even to show care and concern to anyone.

I guess I was wrong.

you're nothing like I assumed you were. you're a waste of natural resources, you're a waste of my time, you're a waste of everything this world has to offer. if it were legal, I would stab you to death countless of times, show no mercy to your cries of pain or hurt and step all over your decomposed body.

just kidding.

but I would do that in my mind. I'm not going to do anything to you. karma's a bitch. you'll get what you deserve sooner or later. just you wait.

to someone very special to me, ♥


thank you so much for all that you have done for me. this trip wouldn't have been so memorable if it werent for you. your support when i bowl, your care and concern when i didnt feel like eating or when i coughed badly. everything you've done for me, i cherish every moment we have together. there are so many times where i've caused you lots of pain and suffering due to my constant insecurities but i hope you understand that the only reason for me to do, is because i'm afraid to lose you. i never thought you'd be someone so important to me, someone i can't live a day without thinking about. someone i constantly feel the need to check up on. you're so important to me now and i hope you'll never leave me like those before me. i'm not perfect although i try my best to be and every single time i try to do so, it only ends up worse for both you and i. but i'm still trying to make everything worthwhile here. i really love you so much.. regardless of what anyone else thinks.

"cause there'll be no sunlight

if i lose you, baby

there'll no clear skies

if i lose you baby,

just like the clouds, my eyes will do the same

if you walk away, 

every day will rain."

12th MILO JUNIOR ALL STARS

this has probably been the most memorable junior all stars i've ever taken part in since i started bowling this tournament for 5 years alrdy so i figured i would wna blog and note down everything before my memory fails me in time to come.

DAY ONE

gathered at sports school and headed to sunway pyramid. me and mich sat tgt and we bowled the 530pm squad to clear our singles. i got a present from south africa!!!! ^^ baby gave it to me and guess what, he sprayed his cologne on it. the best part was, i didnt even ask him to (: audrey and i named him 'zyger'. he looks like a zebra and he's a white tiger so, why not zyger right? heheheeh. dont think we had dinner cause i ended bowling like abt 10smtg. the delay was atrocious and it was 5 to a pair. oddly enough, i managed to bowl a 668 on my first squad hehehe.

DAY TWO
today was rest dayyyyyy! didnt bowl at all. mich went out w sam on a date so me and the white child just hung out tgt. tried 'tutti frutti' which is like froyo and i absolutely loved the vanilla yogurt! its frigging awesome srsly it tasted exactly like the mcdonalds vanilla cone and everyone knows i love that hehehe. we had samples of the red velvet but it was kinda weird having cake for yogurt? yeah. so just hung out w her and watched aa and everyone bowl. it was pretty fun whn aa was bowling tgt w alex liew. since alex said hi to both me and javier, the white girl felt left out and so she waited till alex looked at her and she waved to him and he smiled and kinda nodded? it was hilarious xD oh and aa took me out for dinner ^^ we went to mid valley and had delicious. both of us ordered fish and chips and we had dessert after that as well. really like a real date. i was rlly happy (:

DAY THREE
bowled the afternoon squads! before that had breakfast tgt w timmy and sean at old town white coffee. sean picked us up from the hotel and we went out for breakfast. i had tom yum noodle i think hahahah it was soooooo good it was hell spicy but man, it was awesome. my lips were burning after that! after breakfast we went to bowl and i did pretty badly. bowled mere 54s and 57s series. after that had dinner w baby again. this time he bought me char kway teow and he bought for aud and timmy too. we all ate tgt in the room hehehe. its the best effffffffing char kway teow ever and i cannot frigging believe its been there for like, ever but i never tried it. regretting like hell. got presents for timmy, fikri and baby as well. got my white child to wrap them for me cause i'm useless at it..

DAY FOUR

bowled afternoon squads again! bowled eff-ed up scores agn. 57s and 53s. was feeling so down that i didnt even feel like going out or even having dinner. stayed in the room the whole time by myself. baby went to get dinner for both of us and we had dinner in the room again. i have to thank sean for supporting me though. he even went to write behind a receipt 'GO ILMA GO GO GO' how sweet.

DAY FIVE

i have the most wonderful roommates ever. they gave me a new charm bracelet with a bird on it. all three of us have the same one. i named mine 'maryanne', aud's 'suzanne' and mich's is 'brianna'. hehehe. and i had that cupcake for breakfast. mich bought me and aud penguins for our christmas present but i didnt take a picture of it. along w it, came a card which i only read after the whole tournament. (the penguins' names are frank, mine, and sue, aud's) had subway for lunch tgt w danish and crystal kiew. got to bowl w aa twice in this tournament because he went to mess up the lane draws hehehehe *cunning kid*. bowled a mere 598 for the first squad where i bowled w him. after that, managed to bowl a 728 series ^^ i was frigggging happy and after that we had dinner at manhattan fish market w mich, dionne, sean, audrey, dionne's sis and danish. it was a good day and i have to thank maryanne for it!!!!

DAY SIX

got up pretty early and lunched with my lovely audrey. then went to the bowling centre to watch baby bowl. he has yet to qualify so i hoped that by me supporting, he would (: surprisingly he did! he bowled a 73 or a 74 series and after that i went back to the room. he bowled another 75 series for the masters and qualified safely for both. so happy for him!!!! since he had qualified safely for both, he took us out! we went to pavilion tgt w timmy, audrey and dragon. it took forever to get there due to the jams. after that, had lunch at manhattan(again) and walked ard.

DAY SEVEN

bowled the first squad to try out the fresh oiling in the morning. managed to bowl a 707!!! it was so surprising. my games were 18, 23 and 288. i had 10 strikes in a row and on the 11th frame, i hit a pocket pin 7 ): ohwell, it was a bad shot so i cant expect much. after that, watched fikri and timmy bowl tgt w najia and after that caught 'new year's eve' tgt w aa (: he left abt 5 smtg for some award presentation and me and audrey had nando's for dinner tgt w haziq! after that we went to watch mich bowl. oh, and aa, he stayed over ^^

DAY EIGHT

masters today! had lunch with audrey at pepper lunch then bowled 10 games. i felt that i bowled pretty decently. those darn low games. still cant get over it. and all my single pin spares. srsly how dumb can i get right? family came and support (': you only have them in this sad, cruel world where everyone wants to bring you down. only they want to see you succeed, see you prosper. only they really love you. i'm so blessed to have these wonderful people. i may not be perfect, but i'm truly grateful for them. ended up 14th pfffffft no prize money also bloody hell hahaha. watched stepladders and got one more day to stay in sunway!! ^^ timmy and baby slept over and i'm so happy hahahaha. 

DAY NINE

had breakfast with the love in the morning and wished him luck for his masters. departed for singapore abt afternoon? tapau back char kway teow hehehe and guess what, i'm the mayor for 'simply penang' now! please no one check in there xD

such a great tournament. great environment, great people, great company, great bowling. it was really memorable. it wouldve been perfect if you were still alive. i still miss you pretty much, beng khai. i wish you all the happiness wherever you are.

work has been crazy tired and everything. i'm so glad it's all over and we did a really good job! made friends with some of the overseas winners. they're so friendly. love how competition brings people from all over the world, from different backgrounds, different cultured all come tgt as one.

been kinda sick on and off. there's smtg wrong with my body I guess. I dunnow. hope nothing's up. haven't been bowling for abt a week alrdy? how time flies huh. it's alrdy December. life is so unpredictable.

the most unbelievable thing happened to me today. I was on the phone with him today and he told me he changed his relationship status on Facebook. how.. exciting! we're not tgt, we're kinda tgt but not tgt. I wonder why I keep getting myself into these kinda statuses. even my past boyfriend was liddat. ohwell. ntg much has happened in my dull life as well. Milo junior all stars on Saturday!!!!!

however I'm more excited to london and Paris (: goodnight all.

have been working at mummy's office lately. well, it's not even considered lately cause I've only been here like twice? Tuesday and today. I'll have to help out over at scape tomorrow and on Saturday as well. the event's called Uphoria and I'm actually wondering why all these events and parties are named as such. even for Milo, the ministry of sound(some club) is called Euphoria as well. hmm, coincidence?

been packing, filing, sorting, cutting paper, running errands, etc for the company. made a new friend called shelby whose like frigging rich and she just ended her Os. she's the most normal out of the other two. there's jonathan and clarisse. jonathan's rlly okay and he's the most hardworking amongst all of us. clarisse just frigging texts and tweets and whatnot.

have been staying up recently for my boy. he's over in south africa competing at world cup. apparently, he's rooming with alex. HAHAHAHAHA. I know, I laughed like a cow too. how awkward. he told me that alex made cup noodles for him on the first night. seriously? the 6 hour difference is taking a toll on me. what the hell, ilma, not like you're over in that country. it's like me staying up for him and stuff. I can't complain cause he's always staying up for me as well but my face has to pay the price. breakouts and annoying blemishes all over! he has perfect skin. hmm. *jealous*

oh, big boss is back. chao