dreams

dreamt of bengkhai last night. it was after I woke up to pray subuh. I woke up abt 5.37am cause I have a massive stomach ache and then i had diarrhea and shit (literally) -.- slept back afterwards and now I am awake after such a happy dream.

dreamt that both you and my mum passed away. it was for quite a while. but you guys said it was the first or second day of your death. you guys said that you had to sell your soul for loneliness for two weeks for you to come back. I said come back more often. you guys said you couldn't because it was only for the first week of your death. we cried so badly that even my eyes for some reason appear to be swollen when I woke up this mrng.

ibu died and came back. we spent time tgt as a family and we were all so so happy. then she had to go back. I begged her to stay. she said she could for a while longer, but only if we closed our front door. so I did. and suddenly there was smtg that hit our window and everything smashed. for some weird reason dyana was there and she said that she'll take care of it. then she I dunnow because some card captor Sakura?! -____- I dunnow. okay after that my mum fell asleep. none of us woke her up because it meant she could stay here longer, even though she wasn't conscious. being a light sleeper that she is, she woke up the very second I opened her bedroom door. she said she had to go and she loved us all very much. we couldn't let her go, but we had to.

bengkhai was wearing his orange tiger shirt. and his bowling pants. he wasn't botak like last year. he looked.. good. he came and for some reason I was with rodson. we both saw him and we hugged. I hugged him for so long with tears streaming down my cheeks. we took pictures as proof that he came back. he didn't want to at first, but we did eventually. we took lots of pictures. he then had to leave. before he left, I hugged him from behind and said 'I love you too.' he smiled. he knew it wasn't the kind of love he had hoped for from me. he knew it was the kind of best friend love. that strong connection we shared and will always have. he teared and said 'thank you. now I finally know.' I cried even more. and then he left.

I loved these dreams. that's why immediately I blogged them down so I wouldn't forget anything at all.

I miss you so much bengkhai.

I love you mummy. I know I dreamt of you dying but it only means that you're gna have a long life. I love you.

blogging through the iPhone again. just finished video calls with aa again. hahahah. he gave me a wish (: I wished for happiness. I mean, who doesn't want happiness right? okay so yeah.

classes are all right. trng's at occ again! way better but it's only up until nationals ): ohwell. better than nothing! gna gym w/ porky tmr! hahaha. maybe I shld jog outside for a while. I shall tryyyyyy (: it's 7 minutes to 12 and I'm soooo tired! goodnight world.

class ytd was so funny srsly. we were all discussing about... obesity!! kinda boring and long-winded. oh and dry as well. hmm. glad the week's over! I've been so so tired this whole week.

been skype-ing or tango-ing w the battery recently. okay not rlly recently like twice only hahahaha. I like the way he smokes. I mean I won't smoke and I don't like breathing the air that comes out from the cigarette and stuff, but sometimes I like looking at ppl smoke. there's always this 'at ease' look I see from all the smokers, I've noticed. like my dad. although he does it like super discreetly or right before we enter the car and all, the looks are always the same. ohwell, ppl are always gna judge them (or me) or whoever anyway. dont rlly careeeee. blogging through my phone now so the photo arrangements are gna suck cause I can't rearrange it and make it look nicer ):

sony singing competition @ RP

srsly what a loser.... two pics and both he closed his eyes?! SRSLY?!?! -___-

i dont wanna miss a thing - aerosmith

brabbles (:

went over to RP ytd and met up w the RP gang. they supported me and all hahaha awh super touched. there were some parts where i totally spaced out and forgot the lyrics. pathetic, really.

kevin aka 'esther/oldielocks' treated me meatworks today! it was hell good. didnt think medium rare meat would taste so good! it was rlly awesome and i'm most definitely gg there agn soon!

really good cheesecake and creme brulee. had tiramissu too but i didnt get a picture of it.

bronchosaurus(?). smtg liddat hahaha. freaking good. had to make reservations and had them cook it like hours earlier.

yummy ^^

25th asian intercity bowling championships

guess which loser had to take the bronze medal on behalf of singapore for senior's division? asked shirley to get ka as my official hahaha. kok wee was a joke."this is our youngest senior contestant. married twice with two kids. currently married to the second richest guy in singapore. please feel free to ask her how she manages to maintain her young looks."-__________-



me and ka had to be bern and amanda's official cause i dunnow. remy probably wants to rub it in our faces that we suck! ): anyway congrats to amanda for winning the gold and bern for the bronze! kristin quah for the silver too! 1, 2, 3 all singapore! (:






singapore's the overall cup winner! and we won the best women's team! so the girls got US$300 hellyeahhhhhhhh


pudding milk tea from share tea!!!!



all events! managed to squeeze myself to the top 3 spots! so happy and proud of myself. was only 4 pins to seok kim after the first block of team event. managed to post a 131x series to lead the 4th position by 100 pins exactly! congrats to bern for winning the gold and amanda for winning the silver! 1, 2, 3 all singapore again! ^^
bengkhai, i couldnt get the gold for you. so i hope the bronze's all right. i owe you a gold soon yeah? be patient w me yeah.



team gold! what a great team and what a great experience bowling with them ♥















us playing w sam!!!!!!!! i love him



















seee? proof that he hit me w the medal. he hit my eye )':




us with kris the witch








opening ceremony and official practice

what a great experience. i am so grateful to have been able to take part in this competition. although intercity's like a stepping stone to greater competitions, i'm rlly glad i did pretty well here. i want to go egypt next yr!!!!!

school's resuming tomorrow for me. ahhh, i rlly wna end this module quickly and slack away. srsly hahaha. had to help mummy's company's event ytd at RP. sang i dont wna miss a thing by aerosmith. it was horrible but i rlly hope you like it. in heaven, i'm sure you can still hear me and my best intentions.

i miss you so much. please come and visit me in my dreams.